Love This !!

Ok, I admit I"m totally hooked on Bravo reality shows.

This Goes Against Everything I Stand for ...

but I freaking love this song. And I HATE all things country (blame my ex )!! Perhaps it's HWJr that gets to me. Enjoy......I promise you can't stop singing the hook.

Dear Tech Support - Installing a Husband

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as
o NASCAR 6.0,
o NFL 5.1 and
o Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

· Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.

DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind,
· Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
· If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.. We recommend
Cooking 3.0 and
Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck Babe!

Tech Support

This Kills Me !

If you saw the real interview...you will really appreciate this one !!

Great 2008 Olympic Comments

Here are the top comments made by NBC sports commentators during the Olympics that they would like to take back:
....
1 . Weight-lifting commentator: 'This is Gregorieva from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was
amazing.'
.....
2. Dressage commentator: 'This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.'
....
3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: 'I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.'
....
4. Boxing Analyst: 'Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.'
.....
5. Softball announcer: 'If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.'
....
6. Basketball analyst: 'He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.'
.....
7. At the rowing medal ceremony: 'Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew.'
....
8. Soccer commentator: 'Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field.'

She's waited on me before !!

My First Fantasy Draft

I drafted my first fantasy team last Thursday night. It's a 10 player league, QB, 3 WRs, 2 RBs, W/T, W/R, TE , K, D. It was a random draft and I had second pick.  This year I didn't feel too warm and fuzzy about a second round pick because the stud RBs ( LT & AP ) this year - well, I have concerns about both. I don't see the separation I've seen in recent years. But with a serpentine draft...what else can you do but grab a stud. It's a long freakin time until you draft again.  So this is how I faired:

QB - Ben Roethlisberger
RB - Adrian Peterson
RB - Fred Taylor ( this isn't a homer thing although I do love Freddie T)
WR -  Andre Johnson
WR - Steve Smith ( asshole got suspended for the first two games)
WR - Hines Ward
TE - Dallas Clark
W/T - Anthony Gonzalez
W/R - Julius Jones
K - Neil Rackers
D - Green Bay

Bench
David Gerrard
Matt Forte
Warrick Dunn
Algae Crumpler
Devin Hester
Arnez Battle
Dennis Northcut
Arizona

All in all, I"m pretty happy with this team. Only 3 people showed for this draft so with all the autopicks it went fast and predictable. But I think I can work with this.